It isn’t at all
surprising that patience is not an actively practiced virtue in today’s
society. Instant everything. News. Shared information and photographs. Weather
reports. Noodles.
But, what if I
told you that you could not only have
patience, but also love it?
It’s true.
Patience
is often defined as the quality of being patient, as the bearing of annoyance, misfortune, or
pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. I mostly
disagree. While I concur that patience is not the ability to wait, but how you behave while waiting, I believe
the virtue should not be defined by the lack
of what you do while you are practicing patience. It can be more adequately—and
more amiably—described as a form of compassion. It allows you to
step back, regroup, and make educated decisions instead of reacting
belligerently out of frustration.
Patience
is not only a reaction to a situation, but a growth in intuition. When you are
able to put your need for instant gratification aside in favor of
time-consuming diligence, you heighten your instincts. Having the time
of your life on a date? Well, why not just propose to your new mate and start a
family right now? We all know why,
because love (and the decisions associate with love) take time. An experienced Cajun chef knows how long a gumbo
should simmer. A master conductor knows how long to make that dramatic pause
before shifting the symphony into the next movement. Anything less than
excessive patience can ruin a relationship, a dinner, an orchestral
performance.
Patience
is power.
“That’s
all very nice in theory," you say. "Patience isn't grace, kindness, or puppy-kisses. You have to tell me how to be patient.”
Fair
enough. So, here it goes.
Below
is my simple 3 step method to enjoying the soup simmer, watching the browning
bake, waiting for the baby to develop within the womb.
1 - Resign yourself to
the understanding that you will never stop waiting.
Harsh?
Maybe. True? Absolutely. Sick of my rhetorical questions? Me too.
Even
in the age where you can find out the price of red licorice in Brazil within
seconds, there is no permanent reprieve from waiting. Important answers get
delayed, projects take time to be developed, and not a single person in this
world exists to be at your beck and call 24/7.
After
all, “All good things are worth waiting for.” Or, so everyone in the universe
says.
You
have two choices. You can get frustrated with the fact that instant
gratification isn’t as widespread as you may wish, or you can take comfort in
the inevitable and find (or manufacture) peace. You can dissipate stress.
2 - Vent your
frustrations productively.
It
is nearly impossible to suppress every bad feeling that flows through us. Even
with practice, that little monster can whisper snide comments in your
brain when a checkout line gets too long or that email response that was
supposed to be in your inbox weeks ago has yet to make an appearance.
In
the writing community, for instance, there is an event called Pitch Wars
currently percolating. (If you know nothing about it, you can read about the contest at www.brenda-drake.com) The results
of the first round are due out in four days, and when they are announced, over a hundred people will be thrilled! Unfortunately, 15
out of every 16 people who entered are likely to be disappointed. Those are the odds. *Shrug*
Who
do you think will be more disappointed, the person who sat poised in front of
the twitter feed for more than two weeks, biting their nails to stubs, and
doing little other than fretting over every possible outcome until they
developed a nervous tick in their left eye… or the person who took a deep
breath after hitting “submit,” realized it was out of their hands, and occupied
their time—and mind—with other things.
That’s
right.
That
doesn’t mean that the second person in this scenario never thinks about it,
floating around for 18 days, 4 hours, and thirty-seven minutes (or, whatever,
who’s keeping track?) without entertaining thoughts of the potential outcome. Releasing the internal frustration of an inevitable wait allows you to
determine the right action, take it, and discover your deepest motives. Each
step is just that, a step. Try to see the whole journey.
So,
to release some of that frustration, grab a timer and a trusted friend and
spend five minutes ranting. Write down your frustrations on biodegradable
coffee filter and let it fly in the wind. Allow your cat be your confidant.
Then, move onto something productive.
3 - Find things to be
thankful for
Patience
is an active state, and to be truly active, you must (say it with me) ACT! The
fastest, easiest, and most effective way to change your mood is to find a
handful of things to be thankful.
Now. Do it, I’ll wait.
Great!
Now, do it again.
Do
you see how it’s almost impossible to be frustrated and grateful at the same
time? And there is always something to be thankful for, whether it’s a sunray,
a new friend, a lesson learned, or a step in the right direction.
So, remember, patience
isn’t easy, but it’s one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself!
If you
need help or want to share a way you stay patient, leave a note in the
comments. Be blessed!
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