Don't tell me… SHOW me!
“Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light
on broken glass.” — Anton Chekhov
Let’s all agree that the subject of "show vs. tell" deserves its own blog post, its own book, its own billboard. Plenty of people
have done just that (well, probably not in billboard form), so I’ll keep it simple.
The root of all telling comes from an excess of emotional adjectives that fail to transport
the reader into the intended experience. Instead, the writer should provoke emotion through character
reactions and vivid prose. Don’t simply tell the reader how to feel.
C.S. Lewis says it better than I ever
could.
“It’s no use telling us that
something was ‘mysterious’ or ‘loathsome’ or ‘awe-inspiring’ or ‘voluptuous.’
By direct description, by metaphor or simile, by secretly evoking powerful
associations, by offering the right stimuli to our nerves (in the right degree
and the right order), and by the very beat and vowel-melody and length and
brevity of your sentences, you must bring it about that we, we readers, not
you, exclaim ‘how mysterious!’ or “loathsome’ or whatever it is. Let me taste
for myself, and you’ll have no need to tell me how I should react.”
Telling forces a reader to watch the
slideshow of your vacation while you narrate. Showing invites the reader along
as you travel.
-
Use well
placed details to bring scenes to life.
o “The
dressing room was dark and dirty” becomes
“A tube of lipstick rolled from the sticky
dresser, disappearing into the shadows where dust bunnies congregated in hordes.”
o “The
house looked old” becomes “Paint peeled from the doorframe, wood
splintered near the rusty door knob, and the hinges shrieked when awakened as
if the house were yawing from a century of sleep.”
-
Evoke
powerful associations
o “My hair
was so dry, I couldn’t stand it”
becomes “As I ran hair gel through my
hair, the brittle strands broke like a dehydrated leaves in autumn.”
-
Use
expressive dialogue rather than telling the reader how something is said.
o “Why did
you do that?” she asked, defeated becomes “Why
would you do such a thing?” she
asked, hanging her head.
When you are starting out as a writer,
you will find that having a Critique Partner is vital in the assistance of
finding and fixing these. Sometimes we don’t see the spinach stuck in our own
tooth until someone points it out. It is also vital that you give your writing
space and time between revisions. Looking at your work with fresh eyes will
help these suckers jump out so you can fix them.
Exercise
Take each sentence below and show
what is happening:
“This was a historic vote”
“It was the most romantic moment of her
life”
“The smell was terrible”
“The smell was terrible”
Now, go! Tackle that telling. You can do it!
This has been another "'No Post on Sundays' Post"
#NoPostonSundaysPost
