Writing in an Active Voice
Have you ever read your original draft, and you’re driven through the action purely because you remember how interesting you intended it to be? Have you ever had a beta reader or critique partner snooze through a scene you thought was jam packed with action, and you’re left dumbfounded that they put the book down? The culprit could be in your conveyance. So, how can you make your writing more active?
Simple! Fix your use of verbs and adjectives… and assassinate those adverbs.
Take your prose from this...
...to this…
Don’t Wimp out with Filter Words
To see
To realize
To realize
To hear
To watch
To decide
To watch
To decide
To think
To look
To sound (or sound like)
To look
To sound (or sound like)
To touch
To seem
To know
To seem
To know
To wonder
To feel (or feel like)
To feel (or feel like)
She felt a ringing in her ear = Her ear rang
They realized it was midnight = The clock struck midnight
He wondered what lurked in the darkness = What lurked beyond the shadows?
Watch out for these, as well:
Does
Get
Go
Has
Put
He has a plan to = He plans to
The team had ten losses = The team lost ten games
An accident occurred that damaged my car = That teenager busted my Audi
For a more in depth look at filter words, and when they are appropriate, check out Susan Dennard’s post here
Simplify and Clarify Actions
Come to an agreement to = Agree
Is not in a position to = Cannot
Is prepared to inform you = Will tell you
It has come to our attention = We notice
An effort is being made = We are trying
The woman was being ogled by the guy who was snipping the other guy’s hair = The barber couldn’t keep his eyes off of his client’s wife.
Prepositional Phrases
Be careful with your prepositional phrases. There are often worthier verbs within the prepositional phrases, eager to erupt!
To be of the opinion of = to believe
To be indicative of = to indicate
To put in an appearance = to appear
To take into consideration = to consider
To be in possession of = to own
To study in depth = to examine
Adverbs
“You may truly, madly, deeply love adverbs, but don’t ever drag one in to prop up a wimpy verb.” Constance Hale, “Sin & Syntax.”
He ran very quickly = He darted
She was utterly scared = She was horrified
The woman voiced aloud her concerns = The woman voiced her concerns
You rudely criticized me = You insulted me
And, just like that, you're prose is moving!
Check out these delicious links!
and these…
This has been another "'No Post on Sundays' Post"
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